Its Kind Of A Funny Story
by OnMySleeve
Summary: Tweek's the nerdy librarian's assistant. Craig is someone he's not to fond of. After being told off, Craig wants nothing to find a way to prove this blond wrong about him. But along the way will Craig find something more in Tweek?


The best thing about having a library card is the feeling of freedom you get when you hold it in your hand for the first time. It just like, hits you smack in the middle of the face that this card is yours. That you can take out any book you'd like, any movie your heart desires. Today was my first time getting a library card. And as I stare down at the shiny plastic card with my picture on it, I feel on top of the world. Finally, something that belongs to me and ONLY me. Not to be shared with any stupid little sister. A goofy grin was plastered on my face as I made my to the young adult's section of the library.

Was I actually going to read anything I take out of here? Probably not. I was probably going to read the first few chapters, then decide to put it down. I was not much of a bookworm. But the _feeling_, just the _feeling_ of it. So I skim through the huge collection of books, stopping every once and awhile to examine an interesting font on the side of the book. I keep looking, until my attention is caught by one book in particular.

_Its Kind of a Funny Story._

I crouch down onto my knees and take the book off the shelve.

The cover was the outline of a head, filled in with what it looked like to be a map. In the middle of one of the little chunks, of what I guess was a different block was an x. This was rather Interesting. Blinking, once, twice took the book and tuck it under my arm. It seemed pretty interesting, no? I didn't bother to read the description. Didn't take note of the Authors name. Just got up and walked up to the check out counter. As I dropped the book on the counter, an older lady raised an eyebrow at me. Then took the book, opening it.

"Son, you shouldn't be dropping these books around. They are expensive. And I need your library card." She says, the extra skin under her chin moving as her mouth moves. I avert my gaze away from that, and reach my hand into my pocket. Pulling out my library card.

"Here." I mumble, handing the card to her. She smiles and scans it, then repeating said scan to my book. She then hands the book over to me.

"Enjoy, sonny. My grand daughter enjoyed this book as well." I nod and turn around, making my way to the exit. As I push the door open, revealing myself to the sun; I Groan in distaste. I wasn't to fond of the summer in South Park. Too hot, while the rest of the year was too goddamn cold. It was odd, because the hot weather was only about a month long. It was like the sun god was showing us a glimpse of what our weather could be like if we lived in a normal town. But no, never EVER claim South Park as Normal. You'll get you ass whooped. Because everyone knew there was something weird about our town, and lying about it was a bunch of bullshit.

But the hot weather made me cringe. And it was only the first couple of days of summer, so the piled snow that had been falling from the sky just a day ago was dirty and melting. My wardrobe was also lacking anything cooler to wear. So here I was wearing a long sleeved sweater with my usual aviator hat. Black pants and one of those plaid yellow scarfs that I had grown a fondness towards.

"Hey, Craig." frightened by this foreign voice, I turn around in a defensive stance, like a ninja would do if someone were to sneak up on them. My eyebrows are forwards, angrily.

"Lame, dude." It was only Clyde, I had now realized. He had his usual grin on his face, his arms folded. He had a few comic books pushed to his stomach where his arms were folded. So I was assuming he was here to return them. I roll my eyes and grunt.

"What do you want?" I ask. Folding my own arms, letting my book fall towards my chest. His smile drops and he has a serious look on his face. The dark eyes boy looks down. I could tell it was mock seriousness though. I'm just that good.

"First time at the library?" He asks. He then look up, his gaze focused at something behind me. I turn my head and look through the glass doors that were the entrance to the library. I saw nothing. Just the old lady and the back of a messy, blond haired chicks body. She seemed to be putting books back on the shelf behind the counter.

"What?" I ask. He shakes his head, and a small smile forms.

"You haven't meet the other librarian assistant, have you?"

I blink dumbly, why would I? I wasn't here to meet people. That's not what you did at the library. I was here to rent out a book! Wasn't that a simple process? I mean, I'm sure if he or she were at the counter I'd meet them. But they weren't.

"I guess not." I say. Clyde's smile grows wider.

"Aw, dude! Hes a trip!" he starts, smiling. I groan again, not in the mood to listen to Clyde mock some innocent librarian.

I begin to walk past him, tucking my book yet again under my arm pit in a protective manner. I almost fall back, choking out of fear as my 'friend' pulls onto the strings on my hat.

I stop, my head turning the way Clyde was pulling the string. I glare at him as my whole body turns on freewill towards him.

"Clyde. What. The Hell?" I ask, now pissed. He continues pulling at the string, towards the entrance of the library. Rolling my eyes, I follow after him. If hes dragging me by the string on my hat just to see some stupid librarian, she better be hot.

When we make our way to the front desk, Clyde stops at where that blond chick is. The older lady looks over at Clyde and sighs, turning her attention back to her work. He must be a regular, I was assuming.

"Yo, Tweek!" Yelled Clyde. What the hell was a Tweek? Was he referring to the drug?

The old lady jumps up from her seat, completely ignoring me, and the blond chick turns her head towards us, not tripping off the little stool she was standing on or anything. That took talent.

"Mr. Clyde! Please do NOT yell in my library. Why, I should have you ban-"

"Nhg! C-chill, Merideth. I-i-its not like he meant it, man." My jaw almost drops when I hear her—er. His voice. It had a girly high pitch to it. But it also sounded deeper than a girls pitch. He sounded like he was on drugs or something! I just stand there, blinking. Taking in his appearing. Large granny glasses that, in no way possible complimented his face. They were huge! And ugly. They made his whole face seem small. His lips were a light pink, they were plump but chapped. And I couldn't tell what his body looked like. Since his clothes were way too baggy. I shake my head. What a nerd.

"Well since Its coming from you, my dear. I'll let it slide. But don't let it happen again." She said, looking down for a second as she pulled a gray strand of hair behind her ear. She then looked up at me and smiles.

"Couldn't stay away from the books, Craig Tucker?" She asked, taking her seat behind her computer. I guess she knew my name from the card, but its creepy that she remembered it. No one ever remembers my name.

To please her, I smile, leaning foward.

"I came to see you, Merideth." I say. And to my surprise, I get whacked on the head with a book. But when I look up its not by Merideth; its by Tweek. The nerdy librarian.

He had a good arm.

"S-Seriously, man! We—NHG! don't play games here. What do you guys want? I have to ge-ah! Get back to organizing my selection of books a-and...because you see. A book is like opening up a whole new chapter to your life, a-a book can take you somewhere else when your lost in your own world, and..."

Clyde and I stood there in horror as we continued to listen and watch this kid make weird hand movements as he spoke about books. His ranting actually reminded me of someone. Someone that owns a coffee shop.

But I guess that didn't matter. I just roll my eyes and stare at him.

When he finished, eyes glazed over with what looked like absolute ecstasy. I Look over to Clyde who shrugs his shoulders.

"I just wanted to introduce you to my friend, Tweekers." Clyde says, wiggling his eyebrows as the blonds own pair raises.

Tweek rolls his hazel eyes, and turns his back to us, walking over to his stool. He looks back for a second, looking me up and down. Was he checking me out? I glare at him, and he glares at me.

"Nhg! W-well. I think one of you is enough Clyde. I mean! Jesus, we already have one nut job that doesn't appreciate good literature. I-I-GAH! And let me guess, Craig. Your another kid that works at some crappy store in the mall, has horrible taste in music and is conforming to the rest of the kids in our school. You probably—geh! Never picked up a book in your life but decided getting a library card would give you a sense of freedom from your conformist life. I've seen you around Craig. Your one of those douche bag scene kids with a horrible front of being high and mighty when in actuality; you sit in your room and cry about the non-unique trend you dragged yourself into. Am I right? Correct me if I'm wrong. Clyde is my exception of you low life cunts. Because hes too dumb to realize where hes standing."

He turns his head back to his book case as I stand there with my mouth agape. How dare he say that! How dare he act like he knew the hell I was.

But he probably knew me better than myself, because I turn around, stomping my way out of the library. I feel Merideth staring at my back, probably empethic. Clyde follows after me, putting his hand on my shoulder as I exit out again to the summer air of South Park. I turn to look at him, and I see he has a guilty look upon his face.

"I'm....sorry Craig. Hes usually not like that, hes really nice sometimes." I just shake hime off and continue walking.

* * *

"You didn't need to be so harsh, Tweek," Merideth says to me as I push the cart of returned books past the front desk. I look up at her, frowning.

"And Clyde didn't mean to be so loud, Merideth. Its just the way he is. You didn't need to be so harsh on him." I didn't know why I was defending him. But I felt the need to, he was the only person besides my elderly friend that was keeping me company. Now I felt like I had probably pushed the boy away from me with harsh words.

Merideth shakes her head, going back to her computer. And I sigh.

She just didn't know.

* * *

I lay back on my bed, arms rested to my side.

No, he wasn't right. He was wrong. I never cried. Ever.

Except for now.

**Lame**, _lame_, lame. I thought. Repeating it over in my mind. He was right. And I had to except that fact. I was conforming. A conformist, it sounded so foreign to me. I bullied people. It was cool, its what the kids I hung out with Did. I wore ugly raggedy looking clothes, because that's what the cool kids wore.

I turn over to my side.

I never picked up a book in my life.

The library card gave me freedom.

No.

Blinking, once, twice. I examined the book I had picked out at the library today. I said I would probably never read it. But now I felt that feeling of rush and sureness. I sat up, picking the thick book up. Opening it, I lay back and try to relax myself. The tears had stopped falling and I felt confident. I knew what I had to do.

_Its so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself..._

Tweek, I will prove you wrong.

* * *

I think this chapter is a little short. But I actually know where I'm going with this, honestly.

Five coolness points if you can guess who Tweek's group is. ;] Also, there is a whole reason why Tweek despises Craig and has exceptions for Clyde. We'll figure that out later.

Its Kind Of A funny story belongs to Ned Vizzini. South Park Belongs to Matt And Trey.


End file.
